Oh hang on, let me back up. Between discovering the problem and developing the migraine, I did a bit of surgery, attempting to see if there was a solution simpler than ripping out all the seams.
And who do you think was responsible for coming up with that solution?
He took the cardigan, put it on a coat hanger and showed me that actually, it sat right. At some stage earlier I had thought it did, but then it seemed crooked again. I just couldn't see sense. Then he showed me I hadn't imagined it. We counted the rows, we measured and yes, one side was longer than the other by about five rows, but from some angles, it seemed ok, just not ok enough.
And on the shorter side, I'd knit the band on too tightly, so it curled. Those of you who suggested such a thing were most insightful.
This morning, in the bright light of day, things were better. I had a feeling it was going to be ok.
Tonight at a wonderful SnB, I reknit the band under Kuka's watchful eye and got it sorted! I believe having the knitting police there also helped.
It may still be slightly wonky. I'm not sure. I modelled it for the girls and there was much nodding and approval - it appeared to work. Tomorrow, I'll block it like my life depends on it and hope for the best.
Adele has promised not to notice the wonk, if indeed there is wonk. Only tomorrow will tell.